Phillip Gills

[runyonhead]

PLEASE BE AWARE OF A SCAMMER THAT GOES BY PHILLIP GILLS....HE HAS SCAMMED MY MOTHER FOR OVER $100,000.00...SHE HAS SENT HIM MY DAD AND STEP DADS ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS.SHE SAYS THEY WERE MARRIED OVER THE PHONE AND HAS EVEN TAKEN OUT LOANS UNDER MY VERY ILL DADS NAME..THE SAD THING IS THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO STOP HER. SHE HAS TO ADMIT SHE'S BEING SCAMMED AND SHE REFUSES TO DO SO.SHE HAS DISOWNED ME FOR QUESTIONING HER ABOUT HIM...PLEASE PAY ATTN. TO THE ELDERLY LOVED ONES OUT THERE,I WISH I KNEW A YEAR SOONER BEFORE MY MOTHER GAVE THEM EVERYTHING...THANK YOU

[Nyla]

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your mother.

I know this wouldn't be easy, and it would probably be a lengthy process, but it sounds like you might have a case for taking over managing your mother's finances legally, due to incompetence. It wouldn't recover the lost money, but it might help prevent her from losing even more to this scammer. Have you spoken to a lawyer about the situation at all? Legal consultations are generally without cost, and a lawyer would be better able to weigh the situation and tell you your best next move. There might even be legal services in the area that would take the case on for free, as public service. It really does sound as though she is acting very irrationally and may need someone to take over her business affairs.

If that's not an option, or perhaps even if it is, you might also want to have a conversation (if possible) with the bank and your mother's physician, if she visits one regularly. There are medical conditions and medications that can result in irrational behavior of this sort, and her doctor may not even know that she's exhibiting these "symptoms". He or she may need to change medications or look for underlying causes, and may also be able to "intervene" in a less threatening way. Parents don't always take kindly to their children offering life advice, but may listen when a third party who is a bit more removed offers suggestions or inquires into a situation.

The bank might not be willing to act either, but it's worth a shot to see if they could offer some advice or speak to her about her finances. That's more likely in a small town with a small bank, of course. Larger banks would probably be more worried about privacy. They may put a stop to the loans, at least, if they know about the whole picture. Another good option is a clergy member, should your mother attend a religious institution. You might be able to speak to her local police department and get an officer to have a chat with her about the situation. Some local departments will really go out of their way in order to prevent people from sending a scammer money. It's hard to believe, but sometimes, it really does take the shock of seeing a person in uniform, who has no personal stake in things, lay out the situation in black and white, for a victim to see the truth.

Last, don't blame yourself. Sometimes, all the best efforts at intervention fail, unfortunately. Take care, and don't forget about your own needs. Finding a counselor or a support group and talking about the situation can help. Or if you need a friendly ear, we're here as well.

We appreciate you posting your story. I'm sure it was difficult, but it may help others deal with their situation, or even avoid a scam altogether. Spreading the word and raising awareness makes a real impact.

[Daneel]

Indeed. And I'd like to add that your mother is not alone, we hear these stories far too often. She is just the kind of person these criminals love to prey on.

If she has lost over $100,000 she may have a case with the Secret Service. But she would first have to accept that she has been scammed, and that is never easy after sending so much money. Nyla had some good thoughts on making her realise that.

Good luck.